News like you'd tell it. Its Nottnews.
In response to growing public pressure to address cruelty in the live export industry, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull today suggested that the cows were responsible for their own situation, and could solve the problem...
Following the brutal attack on innocent little Pippin, some dog owners have been calling on their local councils to provide safe areas for their dogs to be themselves without fear of reprisals from bigger...
Flat-Earther, Mike Hughes, failed on Saturday to successfully complete his death wish “rocket” launch after parachutes fired too early, and forced his launch attempt to sail safely to the ground. Hughes’ original plan called...
America’s worst shooting spree in Las Vegas generated a PR nightmare for the NRA and pro-gun supporters, and highlighted an ongoing problem in American society. The mass-shootings lack coordination, are incredibly random in their...
Some months ago, FBI agents recovered a haul of Trump branded penis pumps during a dawn raid of former Trump Campaign Manager, Paul Manafort. The 3000 Chinese made units were expected to have a...
History is full of lessons for those prepared to listen to her advice. In 2007, WA Liberal Politician Troy Buswell rejuvenated his political career by admitting to sniffing the chair of a female staffer....
After a marriage equality campaigner sent a Vote YES text message to hundreds of thousands of Australians, many thousands are claiming the text made them homophobic. Here are a few quotes we received...
Here’s the problem with an ordinary poll. They always ask you a question that boxes you into answering in a manner that supports the political agenda, one way or another. They might ask...
Former Mexican President Vicente “I’m-not-going-to-pay-for-that-f**king wall” Fox has announced his candidacy to run in the 2020 US election. Fox is better known for regularly giving Trump helpful advice on where to stick his wall....
Nope, this is a satire site. Tony Abbott continued to frustrate his own party’s attempts at unity. He also called the Prime Minister a ****. We’re all still hanging out for old Tones to...
A local man claims that he’s had the same song stuck in his head for the last 25 years. Peter Avrage, 42, married catwalk model Sue Perhot in 1991 after she won Miss Indiana...
Professor Willow, the famous Pokemon scientist is in custody tonight after police and RSPCA raided his laboratories. The RSPCA had sought an order to shut Willow’s facilities down after noticing a lot of pokemon...
A new child-care startup is opening its doors this month to help those most in need – parents with annoying kids. Arkham Asylum For Criminally Insane Kids, also known as Grey Pillars Day Care,...
New research by the Pokey Institute of Workplace Excellence seems to suggest that telling your boss to go jump is the most effective path to workplace happiness and efficiency. Researchers followed the professional lives...
A common theme in many same-sex marriage debates online is that the NO voters accuse the YES voters of hate speech, or name calling, and otherwise unpleasant language. The NO voters typically calmly explain...
Local man, Jarred Earshot, 64, a life long sufferer of tinnitus was found to have been cured when his wife Maureen suddenly died. Jarred and Maureen were married at age 15, and shared a...
Last week, NottNews revealed the the true nature of the White House bathrooms and the strange toilets within. After our reporting sparked a wave of public backlash, the President’s team has jumped to action...
US President Donald Trump surprised pundits today by allowing the use of his Mar-A-Lago resort as an emergency shelter for anyone who needs refuge from the storm that most believe will be the deadliest...
While a new President is being inaugurated, the White House undergoes a huge high-speed internal transformation. Out went Obama’s tasteful blinds, neutral colors and classic furniture. In came gaudy gold, mirrors and monuments to...
When Bill Mason rolled his vehicle in the Australian outback he began what would turn out to be a remarkable journey through adversity. The 21 year old was returning from his work in regional...
Dark smoke began escaping from the White House chimneys as the Trump Administration promised full cooperation with special investigator Robert Mueller. Experts assessed the administration is probably just trying to keep warm during a...
A man claiming to be Jesus Christ was shot dead while trying to enter the Houston Megachurch. Authorities claim he was distributing fish and wine without appropriate license, and attempting to help the sick...
Top 10 reasons why Trump Is Hurricane Harvey. They cause a huge amount of damage to the country, and they blows a lot of air. When they are around, shit goes everywhere. When its...
Hurricane Harvey, the biggest weather event in Texas in over 50 years has killed at least two and damaged the property of thousands of others. Your typical hurricane is powered by rising columns of...
Thank you Mr President! After continual and unrelenting fake news media attacks on President Trump, the latest polls are in. And its good news for the Trump. Trumps excellent responses to the Charlottesville massacre...
President Donald Trump declared today that his Administration, rife with conflict, paralysed with scandal, and astoundingly incompetent is actually “like that internet dress.. I see it as gold and white but everyone else sees...
We’re now accustomed to President Trump’s bombastic statements, generally considered by all but the most raving of loonies to be pure Trumpian fiction. Generally they are harmless statements. “Mexicans are rapists.”.. Women let...
Breitbart News is struggling to recover from a massive hack of its online magazine. The controversial news site appears to have lost control of its own servers and content, with page after page of...
Nottnews IT guy, Jason, has revealed he has a list of names of the Charlottesville Nazis. I asked him how he got the names and he said a bunch of IT mumbo jumbo...
At a press conference intended to promote his Racial Purity Week, Trump haphazardly announced the creation of a robotic force to protect him from “growing dissent” in the world. Trump made the announcement while...
Shockwaves echoed around the world today as a statistically impossible collision between a cyclist and a motorist resulted in the surprising death of the motorist. Meanwhile the cyclist walked away relatively unharmed. Emma...
How much is your vote worth? What value do you place on someone else’s vote? These may be just thought experiments for the moment, but with preparations underway for the Liberal National Coalition postal...
Caught dancing around a bucket of donor cash wearing blackface at a privately run 2020 Pence for President fundraiser, a man looking suspiciously like the Vice President was having a great time. “This...
Australians have found a unique way to remove the resurgent racist Pauline Hanson from office. Panama, a South American country known for its controversial tax laws and unusually loose financial regulation has agreed to...
In a scheme he’s clearly learned from Russia, Trump has been making his first foray into diplomacy with a specially modified suite at his Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago club in Florida. The heavily modified...
Following last months FBI raid on Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort uncovering an illicit haul of Trump branded penis pumps, calls for Trump to come clean on the extent of the association have...
Paul Manafort, Director of Trump’s 2016 Presidential Campaign, was raided by the FBI on Wednesday night. Manafort, who is being investigated for receiving foreign funding and being a key player in the Trump campaign’s...
We’re all aware of Trump’s half-page daily brief that informs him of the key issues affecting the country in the next 24 hours. But with the news cycle savaging him daily for his incompetence,...
President Trump announced today that North Korea would be met by “fire and fury, the likes of which the world has never seen” if it continues to make threats toward the United States. “Obama...
The pizza store rumored to be Hillary Clinton’s house of horrors has been discovered. Barry’s Pizza And Finger Food Emporium in Squatsville, Mississippi was the site where Hillary Clinton was rumored to have attempted...
Faced with increasing costs, a politically impotent leader and a country full of Australians demanding they do a better job, NBNCo thinks its finally onto a winner. You have heard of Fibre To The...