No Time Travellers Stopped Trump. Trump Stopped Science First.

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So no time travellers came from the future to stop Trump from destroying the world.  Despite the scrutiny, not a single one has been caught up in our justice system or mental health institutions.  Republicans have been using that fact to claim Trump will be a great president and will not initiate the end of our planet during his presidency.  This, they say, is proof he will be brilliant.

But like all politicians, they’ve missed the point.

Trumps dramatic de-funding of science program has effectively ended MIT’s research into time travel.  Although unconfirmed, its likely that similar cuts will have ended other research facilities’ ability to develop fully functional time machines.

Scientists say the key requirement to stopping a cataclysmal Trump event is to build the time machine before the world ends.  If the world ends before the machine is built, we just cant use it.  There’s just no way of getting back in time to stop him.

“Trump is still here, so we must have failed” a source familiar with the project explained.  “We had a working prototype, but without federal funding we just wont be able to scale it up.   And our cyborgs really aren’t up to the task yet” referring to DARPA’s 2015 Robotics Challenge, and the well known but completely weird requirement that only living things can go through time travel portals.

“Our prototype can only send small droplets of liquid successfully into the past.  It really is useless from any practical standpoint.  But as a prototype it proves its capable.  We estimate that the technology would take another 5 years to scale up to fit a Kyle Reece type hero. But since he’s not here already, its likely the world will end before the the machine is built.”

The Obama administration had been a fervent supporter of the technology being developed and had ensured a steady trickle of grant money was available to continue work on the device.

“We felt that Americans needed the security, the freedom, to exercise their constitutional rights, to go back in time and assassinate a bad or unpopular president.” Obama’s secretary, Ian o’Bama explained.

But it may not be all bad.

A study of the weather on Trumps inauguration day, showed some strange inconsistencies.  There was no forecast of rain, the rain fell with no wind, and the rain fell mostly only on Trump.  And while Trump would not allow his soaked coat to be examined by anyone after the event, the researchers were able to use spectrographic techniques to analyse footage.

“It was definitely pee.”

In hindsight, the only time that Trump was in a predictable place and a predictable time was his inauguration.  I guess a future hero does find a use for that prototype time machine before the end of the world.

Trump with a small amount of pee falling on him.

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