Electromagnetic Radiation Can Makes Plants Bigger
Researchers at the Plow Institute of Science announced today that compelling new evidence against the anti-WiFi lobby’s broad claims that electromagnetic waves have a negative impact on life.
Researchers set up a scientifically acceptable double blind test with controls, repeated 40 times in 10 separate locations at 8 different times of the year by three independent teams. “We really needed to be sure, because the results were really mind-blowing. No-one else was doing this research so we had a bit of time to be thorough.”
After the WiFi controversy, the team set to definitively identify the impact of high frequency electromagnetic waves on plant life. They blasted a variety of plants with varying frequencies of energy and intensities over several months while holding all other conditions equal.
Results are definitely stunning.
They found that frequencies of 400-700 terahertz at around 1kW of power per square meter gave the plants an incredible growth spurt. Plants exposed to EM radiation at frequencies outside that range performed no differently than expected..
The results have triggered a race for businesses and home inventors to build a practical version of the 400-700 terahertz growth ray.
But it was not good news for some. While the rest of the scientific community has endorsed the research results, some sceptics still have their doubts.
Jenny Benny from the non-profit group Parents Against Education said “the Plow research is fundamentally flawed. Did they check that their phones were turned off? An immunised person might have infected the results. I don’t have WiFi at home and my kids are fine. Its totally WiFi, because we cant afford to be wrong. Our children’s health depends on it. WiFi is bad and its better to be safe than sorry.”
Show me some home-made stats on her phone and I noticed she was already using the free WiFi at our coffee shop meeting spot. I asked her if she was contradicting her statements on WiFi by exposing herself in such a manner. “No, they have wireless here. Wireless is good. WiFi is bad. Call yourself a reporter?”
Ms Benny is an overbearing mum of two un-immunised kids. She enjoys reading blogs on her “wireless” internet connection and listening to her neighbours. She is highly active in her local anti-WiFi community. Her kids don’t have friends over. She runs classes (ironically) teaching other people how to qualify for welfare.