Trump Eases Sanctions On Russia: Putin Gets Gift Bag.

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President Trump quietly relaxed sanctions on Russia yesterday immediately following their phone conversation.  Trump disabled the White House call recording system, so no American sources could capture the contents of the call.

But sources close to the President say that while Putin was being quite specific about his position on Ukraine, spying, nuclear weapons, sanctions and human rights, Mr Trump was remarkably blasé about his requirements, especially when compared to his incendiary comments about the Australian PM shortly afterwards.

Trumps side of the conversation was pretty much “yep, uhuh, yep, uhuh, uhuh, of course, uhuh, sure, yep, uhuh, got it.” according to the source.

According to a Kremlin source, Trump agreed to: defund NATO, look the other way on Ukraine, lift all sanctions, and give Russian spies cushy positions at the NSA, CIA and all major US telcos.  The global price for oil will also now be in roubles instead of the dollar.  Alaska will be transferred to Russia in November.

Trump didn’t come away empty handed though according to Kellyanne Conway, who asked to remain anonymous.

“Trump asked for, and was given a signed copy of Putin’s book “How To Turn Democracy Into Puppet Dictatorship For Dummies”.

The book will need to be turned into a fox-new tv broadcast so that Trump can be exposed to its contents.  Trumps inability to read beyond a second grade level is well documented, and is one of the reasons that all reports being brought to him are printed in 80 point fonts and are accompanied with pictures.

Republicans seem to be fine with this.  Republican House Leader, Mitch McConnell simply said “The South will rise again.”

 

 

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