Trump Still Not Sure Where White House Bathroom Is.
Television obsessed Trump has now spent three weeks in the White House. Yet staffers say he still doesn’t know where the bathroom is.
Reportedly, he goes back to Trump Tower when he needs to “drop something off”, generally indicating a need for number two.
When nature calls for a quick number one, he reportedly pops outside and goes wizz in the vegetable patch, originally a labour of love from Michelle Obama, the previous First Lady.
Trump’s communications chief, Sean Spicer, says its not that he doesn’t know where the facilities are, although that’s how it started, it’s that he doesn’t feel comfortable enough there to go.
Apparently Trump’s shitter at “Dump Tower” has a larger bowl, with a medically prescribed prosthetic that makes it more comfortable to Trump-dump in, although sources close to him say he just likes sitting incorrectly on a bidet.
With Trump’s “plopularity” down the toilet, the passing of this news may flush his chances of a clean wipe next week. Also in the dumps is public opinion of his policies, which has already fallen lower that his primary vote.
His initial high pressure blast of work, splatted headlines all over the world, with most finding the news on the nose. Now he seems bogged down, with constitutional specialists stalling his work.
All this leaves him squatting over a hole, straining to release something to relieve the public’s perception that his administration is blocked up with indigestible goals, and pockets of hot smelly air from his surrogates.
I think he just needs to grab a coffee, relax, and it will come.