Trump’s Fire and Fury met with F.U.
President Trump announced today that North Korea would be met by “fire and fury, the likes of which the world has never seen” if it continues to make threats toward the United States. “Obama missed his chance, right.. and he had one… didn’t he.. to use them.. and everyone new it… to nuke someone, and thats the only reason to be …. you wanna be a president right? ”
Polls show the orally flatulent president dipping to a historic low 31% approval rating, raising the risk of war to improve his popularity.
North Korean State Media released statements quoting Kim Jong Un saying “Oh yeh fat guy!!? We rike to see you try!! Hmmm maybe we drop nucrear bomb on Guam, see how you like dat!! Yesss.. Tubby Orange Fatso not so tough now hhhhoooarr….”
Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, admitted privately to Nott News that “This is great news! We expected to manipulate Trump into ditching allies to make America weaker, but if he spends his arsenal beating up DPRK, it works even more to Russian advantage… ahhhha haahahahhh”.
Additional effects of a nuclear war between the US and DPRK are the substantial weakening of South Korea and Japan from the North Korean counter attack, and the likely loss of Guam – a critical strategic base for the US.
Lets understand what would happen if a nuclear war broke out between the US and North Korea, beginning with a massive nuclear preemptive strike by the USA.
North Korea: LOSER. Gets heavily nuked and territory ruined, but has a few tricks. Nukes Guam, and fires everything at South Korea and Japan.
South Korea: LOSER. Seoul gets flattened by artillery, tens of millions are dead.
China: WINNER. Invades North Korea to “prevent humanitarian crisis” but really just gains a shed load of land. Sends Trump Administration a bill for $3 trillion, which Trump only pays $2 Trillion claiming a great deal. Experts expose the bill as being Nigerian, and Trump could have ignored it.
Japan: LOSER. Loses South Korean ally. Gains an enlarged and militarily active Chinese neighbour.
USA: LOSER. Consumes half its nuclear arsenal and becomes number 3 in nuclear power. Loses Guam base.
Europe: WINNER. Avoids having to commit to helping USA due to Trump dumping NATO article 5.
Russia: WINNER. Becomes number one world power. Invades Alaska as price of staying out of the war. Trump agrees. Russia releases Trump Pee Pee Tape.