FBI Raids Manafort’s Home – Finds Haul of Trump Branded Penis Enlargers

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Paul Manafort, Director of Trump’s 2016 Presidential Campaign, was raided by the FBI on Wednesday night.

Manafort, who is being investigated for receiving foreign funding and being a key player in the Trump campaign’s collusion with Russian scandal, was caught pants down on the toilet when FBI agents entered the house.  Agents heard Manafort praying for this to soon end, assuming he meant his investigative troubles.  It turned out Mr Manafort had consumed a large bowl of rib curry earlier in the evening and was suffering from uncontrollable bowel movements.  Agents dragged him from the toilet in this condition.

A spokesman for the FBI explained that 3000 units of Trump branded Penis Enlargers were also recovered.  The enlargers would have a street value of about US$100K.  The  Chinese manufactured devices are used by some men in an attempt to enhance themselves, and are known to not to work.  They have a little picture of Trump’s face on them.

A spokesman for Manafort insisted that that he was just holding the penis enhancers for a friend, and that theres nothing wrong with that even if they were his.

UPDATE: Feds Dump No-Lump Trumps D–K Pumps

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