Trump Hidden Cams In Mar-a-Lago To Blackmail Elite. Catches Self.

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In a scheme he’s clearly learned from Russia, Trump has been making his first foray into diplomacy with a specially modified suite at his Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago club in Florida.

The heavily modified suite, filled with portraits of Trump, has been poorly fitted with dozens of hidden cameras and other monitoring equipment, and has been designed to catch foreign leaders in compromising positions, as Trump himself has been caught while in Russia.

While it is heartening to see Trump learning something, no foreign leader has yet been caught by the ruse.  In fact, the system has so many shortcomings its unlikely to ever work.

 

Firstly, until recently the camera feeds were visible from the internet.  Secondly, the technology Trump selected can not see in the dark.  Thirdly, most of the cameras views were obstructed by fake pot plants or fruit bowls.  And finally, the system has only actually captured footage of Trump himself, sexually assaulting the staff during his inspection of the room.

A small group of sex professionals were waiting patiently in the lobby when this reporter visited to follow up the claim.  While not wishing to go on the record, they explained they were there for a secret mission and warned me to stay away from the “visiting dignitary” suite, but they could give me a discount if I was quick.

Classy.

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