UPDATE! Trump Aides Leak That New White House Oversized Toilet Bowls Unpleasant To Use.
While a new President is being inaugurated, the White House undergoes a huge high-speed internal transformation. Out went Obama’s tasteful blinds, neutral colors and classic furniture. In came gaudy gold, mirrors and monuments to vanity.
But in this last case the White House plumbing also received an overhaul.
Trump’s transition team insisted on refurbishing the bathrooms, adding new oversized bowls to accommodate the larger than average presidential ass. Custom toilet rolls made from smaller squares were also acquired in bulk from Trump Tower. The effectiveness of toilet paper directly relates to its size in comparison to your palm. Someone like Trump with a big ass and small hands would have a nightmare with standard paper.
However, while this is now great news for the new president, its not so great for other White House workers.
Long time staffers admit it will take some getting used to.
“Obama was in and out in a flash, with his healthy diet. Trump basically lives in there.” said one. “Sometimes it sounds like whole chickens falling out..”
Another opined, “These new bowls make you feel like you’re perched on the front. Don’t lean back. If you have a normal sized butt they make you feel like a cripple. And whats with this tiny paper? Its like it was made for a child!”
Even the ladies room didn’t escape the ‘upgrade’. “Trump likes to hang with the ladies on some days, so now they’ve got the fat-ass bowls too. I saw Conway slip right in”
This reporter bumped into Mike Pence and the Vice President offered his words of wisdom. “As long as you’re not talking about Russia, then its fine. Mr Trump can sound as weird as you like.”
The story has sparked significant public backlash toward the White House. Their response is detailed in the follow-up article Toilet BackLash Forces White House Change.