Toilet Backlash Forces White House Change

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Last week,  NottNews revealed the the true nature of the White House bathrooms and the strange toilets within.  After our reporting sparked a wave of public backlash, the President’s team has jumped to action and is now trying to score a badly needed PR win.

The original winged-seat  Boeing Ass-buster toilets which drew so much humiliating coverage for the President have now all been replaced with Caroma PrimeLoad models.

NottNews intern Terri Bulljob poses in white house bathroom.

NottNews intern Terri Bulljob poses with new fatso seat in White House bathroom.

The sudden refit is expected to have cost 3 million, with foundations beneath the new thrones needing repair after extensive cracking was discovered during the changeover.

White House Spokesman said that regular maintenance inspections would take place to ensure the facilities remained safe, despite the apparent danger posed by the large weights.

“The cracking isnt’ a serious problem yet.  And the PrimeLoad model also has a wider leg-screen to deflect more of the up-splash and a higher capacity waste pipe to help address the issue of clogging.  Many people have also said they think its a more comfortable seat.  No-one has fallen in either.”

Trump's extra wide toilet

Trump’s original extra wide toilet – the cause of so much controversy.

Anonymous White House source, Steve Bannon, said he preferred the previous units.  “The wings helped with ermm..  spreading..  when you sat.  These new ones just mush everything together, which complicates things.”

It is understood that the President’s private quarters still uses a Boeing system.

We at NottNews praise this administration’s commitment to quick,  decisive action.  Our offices have normal toilets.

Read our original award winning article revealing the White House bathrooms White House Aides Tell New White House Toilets Unpleasant To Use.

 

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