Legal Umps Dump No-Bump Trumps D–K Pumps.

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Some months ago, FBI agents recovered a haul of Trump branded penis pumps during a dawn raid of former Trump Campaign Manager, Paul Manafort.

The 3000 Chinese made units were expected to have a street value of just under $100k.  The pumps were confiscated as being proceeds of a crime, and are therefore available for the Bureau to sell and use the profits.

However, the FBI is having difficulty finding customers.

Part of the problem is that they are a Trump brand.  Trump’s name doesn’t have the value it once had.  Trump’s steaks, water, casinos, airlines, hotels all failed.

Another problem is that they are Trump customised.  A typical penis pump is quite long.  These TrumpPumps are barely 3 inches long, which prevents all but the most micro-penis’ed man from using them.  Specialists say they would only be useful if you had 2 inch stiffy like Donald.

Trump’s recent public outburst denying specifically that he has a micro-penis during his press conference with the Prime Minister of Spain has likely killed any positive marketing that could be used for these penis enhancers.

It is expected the unsold TrumpPumps will be buried in the desert.

You can read the original article here:
FBI Raids Manafort’s Home – Finds Haul of Trump Branded Penis Enlargers
Trump. No bump.

Trump. No bump.

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