NRA Working With Tech Giants To Disrupt US Mass-Shooting Industry
America’s worst shooting spree in Las Vegas generated a PR nightmare for the NRA and pro-gun supporters, and highlighted an ongoing problem in American society. The mass-shootings lack coordination, are incredibly random in their effectiveness, and appear to happen without any real schedule. A new service being developed by the NRA will hopefully solve all this without resorting to government action.
The project codenamed ToughLove is loosely based on military drones. It’s programmed to perform a specific number of gun deaths per spree, with the killing sprees scheduled to coincide with low ratings periods to keep bad PR to a minimum. ToughLove is designed to deliver only fatal shots to the head, eliminating costly hospital stays and medical bills and to keep operating costs low. The business end consists of two barrels firing 7.62mm HP ammunition at 300 rounds per minute. The barrels are silenced to improve kill rate before detection. Under ideal conditions, the unit will reliably issue its maximum capacity of 1000 rounds in 200 seconds, shooting 1000 whiney liberals.
The internet connected system would then automatically transfer compensation to any surviving family members. The Trump Administration has already agreed to pay between $50 to $1000 for each lost soul depending on background, although insiders say the system will be configured to clean up those loose ends to keep the costs down.
Advocates insist that ToughLove will not increase the overall death rate. An NRA spokesperson explained “those liberals have it coming anyway. Whether its us or someone else killing them, having a highly optimised civilian killing platform will not change that outcome. The mass-murder industry is due for a high-level technology disruption. America is the land of the corporate opportunity, and there is clearly demand in the market for a high efficiency weapon designed specifically to kill American civilians on American soil.”
“Patriots like Stephen Paddock need never lose their lives shooting civilians again.” He continued. “This system is 100% safe for the operator.”
Still, many are sceptical. These machines are taking away jobs. Jobs of hard working, out of work psychopaths.
Initial tech partnerships are with Uber to deliver the system to its civilian target location. Google and Facebook will enable micro-targeting based on profiles.
Before you get upset about so much power going into the hands of a large unaccountable company like the NRA, we can bring you some good news. All the technology will be made public so you can quickly replicate it yourself using simple tools in a typical shed, adding capacity or improving rate of fire. For protecting your family of course.
Experts say the system will be trialled in Puerto Rico to help explain the thousands of deaths from the botched recovery operation.