News like you'd tell it. Its Nottnews.
America’s worst shooting spree in Las Vegas generated a PR nightmare for the NRA and pro-gun supporters, and highlighted an ongoing problem in American society. The mass-shootings lack coordination, are incredibly random in their...
Some months ago, FBI agents recovered a haul of Trump branded penis pumps during a dawn raid of former Trump Campaign Manager, Paul Manafort. The 3000 Chinese made units were expected to have a...
Former Mexican President Vicente “I’m-not-going-to-pay-for-that-f**king wall” Fox has announced his candidacy to run in the 2020 US election. Fox is better known for regularly giving Trump helpful advice on where to stick his wall....
Last week, NottNews revealed the the true nature of the White House bathrooms and the strange toilets within. After our reporting sparked a wave of public backlash, the President’s team has jumped to action...
US President Donald Trump surprised pundits today by allowing the use of his Mar-A-Lago resort as an emergency shelter for anyone who needs refuge from the storm that most believe will be the deadliest...
While a new President is being inaugurated, the White House undergoes a huge high-speed internal transformation. Out went Obama’s tasteful blinds, neutral colors and classic furniture. In came gaudy gold, mirrors and monuments to...
Dark smoke began escaping from the White House chimneys as the Trump Administration promised full cooperation with special investigator Robert Mueller. Experts assessed the administration is probably just trying to keep warm during a...
A man claiming to be Jesus Christ was shot dead while trying to enter the Houston Megachurch. Authorities claim he was distributing fish and wine without appropriate license, and attempting to help the sick...
Top 10 reasons why Trump Is Hurricane Harvey. They cause a huge amount of damage to the country, and they blows a lot of air. When they are around, shit goes everywhere. When its...
Hurricane Harvey, the biggest weather event in Texas in over 50 years has killed at least two and damaged the property of thousands of others. Your typical hurricane is powered by rising columns of...
Thank you Mr President! After continual and unrelenting fake news media attacks on President Trump, the latest polls are in. And its good news for the Trump. Trumps excellent responses to the Charlottesville massacre...
President Donald Trump declared today that his Administration, rife with conflict, paralysed with scandal, and astoundingly incompetent is actually “like that internet dress.. I see it as gold and white but everyone else sees...
We’re now accustomed to President Trump’s bombastic statements, generally considered by all but the most raving of loonies to be pure Trumpian fiction. Generally they are harmless statements. “Mexicans are rapists.”.. Women let...
Breitbart News is struggling to recover from a massive hack of its online magazine. The controversial news site appears to have lost control of its own servers and content, with page after page of...
Nottnews IT guy, Jason, has revealed he has a list of names of the Charlottesville Nazis. I asked him how he got the names and he said a bunch of IT mumbo jumbo...
At a press conference intended to promote his Racial Purity Week, Trump haphazardly announced the creation of a robotic force to protect him from “growing dissent” in the world. Trump made the announcement while...
Caught dancing around a bucket of donor cash wearing blackface at a privately run 2020 Pence for President fundraiser, a man looking suspiciously like the Vice President was having a great time. “This...
In a scheme he’s clearly learned from Russia, Trump has been making his first foray into diplomacy with a specially modified suite at his Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago club in Florida. The heavily modified...
Following last months FBI raid on Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort uncovering an illicit haul of Trump branded penis pumps, calls for Trump to come clean on the extent of the association have...
Paul Manafort, Director of Trump’s 2016 Presidential Campaign, was raided by the FBI on Wednesday night. Manafort, who is being investigated for receiving foreign funding and being a key player in the Trump campaign’s...
We’re all aware of Trump’s half-page daily brief that informs him of the key issues affecting the country in the next 24 hours. But with the news cycle savaging him daily for his incompetence,...
President Trump announced today that North Korea would be met by “fire and fury, the likes of which the world has never seen” if it continues to make threats toward the United States. “Obama...
The pizza store rumored to be Hillary Clinton’s house of horrors has been discovered. Barry’s Pizza And Finger Food Emporium in Squatsville, Mississippi was the site where Hillary Clinton was rumored to have attempted...
Vice President Mike Pence is preparing for a tightly packed European vacation this week, as he hopes to spend enough time with allies to find a new job when the US implodes. With Trump spouting...
There are four stages to competency in any profession. Some are benign and can be worked through, some can be fatal and the employee must be removed. The two others are normal and healthy development....
President Trump’s latest attempt to project power on the international stage has gone unsurprisingly awry. He is believed to have given inexperienced Secretary of State Rex Tillerson the instruction to show foreign leader whose...
Short story is that Trump was tweet warring with a fake Hitler account and seemed to miss the point. Hitler was famous for only having one ball, the other being held the Albert...
In an uncomfortable exchange with Canadian PM Justin Trudeau, Trump again showed how ill-equipped he is to carry out the duties of the President. Trudeau, calmly as ever, suggested to Trump that he would...
President Trump today signed an executive order that would legally allow wife Melania to travel on Air Force One naked. Trump is well used to flying in luxury, with his own TRUMP branded Boeing...
Television obsessed Trump has now spent three weeks in the White House. Yet staffers say he still doesn’t know where the bathroom is. Reportedly, he goes back to Trump Tower when he needs to...
Sources within the White House have told us that the majority of the correspondence addressed to Trump contains a glitter bomb, and that the dump-trucks full of glitter are starting to cause real problems...
Saturday. Central Park has always been a place to escape the pace of the city. A place to walk, talk, sit for a while, maybe run into someone famous hiding in some bushes. Today...
President Trump quietly relaxed sanctions on Russia yesterday immediately following their phone conversation. Trump disabled the White House call recording system, so no American sources could capture the contents of the call. But sources...
I suddenly like Trump. A man who has suffered through criticism after criticism. A man who beat out the best the Republican establishment has to offer. A man who has succeeded where every single...
Nottnews has secured an exclusive treat. Sources within the NSA, peeved with Trump’s recent demotion of the NSA head from his daily meeting, have leaked a transcript of the call, picked up from a...
You just cant make this stuff up. With his first week in office resulting in 20 executive orders issued and 20 executive orders retracted or challenged in court, Trump has clearly recognised that he...
Dazzled at the lightning pace this new administration delivers blow after terrible blow to our beloved USA, business experts gathered to try and decipher Trumps secrets to getting so much done. Despite hurdles such...
President Trump announced a $600M saving on the F35 fighter program today, ended months of speculation on what he meant by his threats of renegotiating the deal. “Obama just ticked all the option boxes...
A new show will be aired on NBC this weekend, titled The Real Biggest Loser. The presentation plays on the success of NBC’s existing Biggest Loser reality series – an innovative format show intended to encourage...
So no time travellers came from the future to stop Trump from destroying the world. Despite the scrutiny, not a single one has been caught up in our justice system or mental health institutions....